Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Life Still has to go on~
i realise lately that i hadnt been truly happy. i am just acting as though i'm really enjoying myself, but then..i'm not. i dun want my friends to worry for me. i think i shouldnt whine about every single shit that i'm going through to them. its not fair to them. and they'll get really sick of my whining too as time goes by.
i'm feeling so numb, hadnt had this feeling for quite a while. after her death, i've become quite cold, although at times i do shed a tear or two, this isnt me, i dun cry, i cant cry, i realise that i dunno how to cry. everything's so bitter inside and i dun like it.
people around me, close to me, did see a change in me. like what my teacher told me, i used to be enegetic, powerful, and vocal. i never smile, even if i do, its fake! unreal, my smile isnt genuine. i want my happiness, innocence back. the days whereby my heart is filled with emotions. i want my smile to be real, radiant..
and most importantly, i want myself back!
Hydefied @ 09:09