Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Letter to myself (10 years later - 2024)

Hello You!

How have you been? I hope you are already married by then, living a good and blissful life? Ok, even  if you are not married, how's singlehood?

I know you are living a fruitful life with all your love ones. I hope you are currently a strong, successful and happier person.

Are you glad you confess your love to him 10 years ago? Are you together? Or did you find someone better if he wasn't the one.

I hope you are less emotional as you used to be. I hope you continue to be more appreciative, understanding, and motiviating to the people around you.

I wish by now you learned to love yourself more. Never settle for 2nd best, you are a better person and there is so much more ahead of you.

Even if you fall, you will climb up and learn from your mistake. Don't allow false friends to drain you emotionally and always learn to let go.

Hopefully you can do your makeup better now. Currently I am still struggling with my eyeliner! haha!

Take care of yourself, esp your health. I'm going for the surgery on 14 April 2014 and hope this will make you feel better in 2024.

Love yourself and be a wonderful person. Learn to give and take. Always take a step back to appreciate the world. Read more, Travel more. Work Hard and Play Harder!

<3 p="">
Love from me, 26.03.2014


hydefied - @ 17:16


Friday, March 14, 2014
Closure

I finally mastered up my courage to tell you I like you, and your reaction to me was “Oh I see”.

You really confused me. I feel so awful having to guess if you feel mutually the same. Decided  to confront you after a week because I am getting really tired of going through this emotion again. I thought I have let go of you, but after telling you I really like you, I realised I didn’t really let go. I only try to run away and hide.

You told me you don’t know what to say (wtf). I am mentally prepared that I will face rejection because it is really sudden that I told you my feelings. I have distanced myself for almost like 3 or 4 months, then I have this impulsive sudden useless courage and I told you my feelings.
It’s a relieve knowing how you feel. As least it is a closure for me, I feel like I can truly let go, move on. J 
Then you started telling me how cheerful I used to be, and I was very reserved. You wanted me to be like who I used to be. Is it possible? Even I feel doubtful myself. Our friendship is like a broken mirror, even though it is fixed, the cracks are still visible.
Next you started asking about my surgery, details and am I afraid that I will die. I said yes and you reassured me that I will be fine. Told you that many things can happen, even a huge airplane can vanish without a trace (#prayforMH370). You told me that everything is going to be ok and I hope so.
Maybe the surgery made me braver, to confront my feelings. I feel like I should do it and not regret why I didn’t do it. I don’t know if you meant be friends for now means we may have possibility. I shall move on, this is a good closure and I don’t want to fall into the same emotional turmoil.
My emoness since September has been hard on everyone close to me. I feel bad that my BFFs have to endure my ranting, bouts of emo outburst, crying, feeling down and being all whiny and feeling sorry for myself.
I told myself I would be stronger and not let it affect me anymore. I don’t like people worrying for me!
So be strong me, come what may!! J

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hydefied - @ 16:39