Tuesday, August 29, 2006

IAP briefing, just realised they didn't update anything for us. And we're like so lost about everything. Well, I'm lost! Portfolios, Reports, Presentation so on and so forth. Oh my~ I'm starting to get more worried now. We're at a disadvantage due to the fact that we lack one semester than the rest. However, Mr. Lau says he's sure we can make it. So fingers crossed.
Got to know my LO. Cute man, so enthusiastic and funny guy. Cool to have him as my LO. =)) I shall try to get used to working from now on. K-box tomorrow morning, followed by a trip to Chinese Garden for the Lantern Festival display in the evening. I like out everything is going according to plan, tentatively. =]
IAP officially starts next Monday. Hope everything turn out fine. WOO~!

hydefied - @ 18:34

Monday, August 28, 2006
Yes or No?

All I can really say is people change. Even if they try to argue that they don't, they do! Close friends aren't so close afterall. After they get closer to the "cooler" cliques, off the old friends go. Maybe that's where you see who they really are. Whatever happened to friendships... After putting in so much, you are treated like a fool. Nothing more and nothing less. Even if they like or hate me, most friends are just people I know and forget after a while.

Well, I really like the idea of ditching all the friends and memories here and move on to a new country to start anew. Go to a place where no one knows you, from there, build up a whole new life. It's what I always wanted, and shall set my goals and aims for it. And forget about all the people I know here. Leave and start anew-

So, I think maybe going for the attachment can allow me to forget things or people I want to forget. It's good in a way, or bad. I may feel happy, I may feel sad. I can cry about it, I can laugh about it. So it's all the matter of my own perspective. I live for myself and shall not be bothered by what others say or think. I do what I feel is right, and not because people think is right. I smile, cry, laugh because I want to, and not because people want me to.

I guess I just have to say Thank You for letting me know who you really are. People change, but not all the times for the better. We can't change people, we don't have the right, I don't see why I should get you tochange because of me.

Migration is a good option for me, my parents are agreeable, my sister is happy about it. The only thing is where should I go now. What I do have in mind in Canada or Switzerland. Cool~ =)) I guess only a few minorities will be missed if I really do leave.

hydefied - @ 18:11

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The holidays have started. Never did much though, just packed up the oh-so messy room of mine. Anticipating the arrival of 4th September. I'm crazy, to think I'm actually looking forward to IA. The truth is, I'm worried. Dead worried.. =( All the insecurities I'm getting. Worried about not being able to cope with the job, everything that could possibly happen.

Just purchased the Princess Diaries's Series on Yahoo! Auction the other day. Completed 2, and starting on 3rd book. Totally can relate to how she feels. It's like how I feel about the situation, and also the problems I faced. It's great book to read, though may be a lil kiddish. =) I enjoyed it so much~

Spend almost a bomb preparing for IA. Clothes, shoes, and alot more. NCS requires formal dos for work. All I'm left now is a coat or something like that. =)

This may be a lil lame. But I thought Paris Hilton's debut album isn't too bad. "Stars Are Blind" ain't a bad song afterall. It gets into your head, and before I knew it, I find myself singing to it. Oh...... =/

Tata for now, I think I need a break...this whole changing of the template of the blog is kinda tiring.

hydefied - @ 15:50

Saturday, August 26, 2006
IA (Updated)

Got more information, confirmed, about my IA, here are some details from the document I recieved through NPmail.

Company: NCS Pte Ltd (Casilda is going IBM!! Boo!!)

Address: 5 Ang Mo Kio St 62NCS Hub Singapore 569141 (It is like 10+ stops away from CCK, BOO!)

Liaison Officer (LO): LI HOI TONG FRANCIS (Wonder who he is, can't find his pic in Npal System~)

Alternate LO: CHAI KWEE SIEW (So-so looking, hope she is friendly~)

*I'm getting LOs that I don't even know or heard of. =X DAMN! At least Cas got lecturers that she knows. =( Unfair.

Project Title: Various Network Integration Projects (Routers, Switches, Wireless, Cabling, etc) and network maintenance (I think cmi for network maintenance, hope all will go well! =] )

Duration: 4 Sep 2006 - 2 Feb 2007 (So long. There goes my well deserved holiday that I've been looking so forward to! This is SO unfair too! =[ )

Estimated Allowance: $500 (monthly) (Too little, imo. But then, it's internship. Therefore I shall not complain further.)

** Note: With at least 2 males, due to work nature. Dip in INC & Comm. (This is what that is freaking me out. AT least 2 males. Like OMG! Why? And the whole sentence just sound so wrong. =.='' I juz hope I get good ones. =] )


I guess it's time to bid the class goodbye. Going to attachment would mean getting separated from the class. 1 and 1/2 years. So long yet so short. All the memories and time spent...the ups and downs each person in the class face. The problems, exams, quarrels all seem to be fading away. Mixed feelings for now. I don't know to be happy or sad, alil of both. =) No matter what, all the best, and cheerios~ =))

Hugs and Love

Cia :)

hydefied - @ 01:05

Sunday, August 20, 2006
Let's get this straight and clear

I'd like to clarify to everyone who reads this that my blog is where I vent all my frustration and anger on. Everything written in there is based on how I felt about the incident that happened. It isn't targetting at anyone.

Therefore, every entry is my feelings, and reflection on a happening, person. It isn't use for any personal attacks or whatsoever you may think of. It's solely on my feelings, my thinking and my way of expressing my inner thoughts. I hope all are able to understand that freedom of speech, I say what I truly feel, and it isn't use to attack anyone...

A blog is like a personal diary, and deep down you'd write everything in it. This is like my personal diary. I write everything, for example I shall addressed the debarrment issue, I wrote what I felt about it. And I still do feel that if you have make an effort to attend school, you will not have to go through this ordeal. But if you choose otherwise, you shouldn't make excuses for yourself and face the punishment. That's the theory in life we all learn.

I don't wish for my entries to cause any sorts or forms of misunderstanding to anyone. People who misunderstood what I wrote are always welcomed to clarify it with me. Or maybe tell me about it.


I guess we only see people on the surface. Our inner most true self will always be kept hiding. We don't show ourselves unless we're at home. Home is where the people truly love and care for us. Thus, sometimes I am not as nice as I may seem. I'm human, I have happy, angry, sad side of me. I'm not perfect - I can be good, bad, smart, stupid, friendly, unfriendly.

When many people see the "dark side" of me, the reaction and comment I'd get from them will be "I never of thought of you to be like that." or "You are not who I expected to be like.". Therefore I'd just say that in the society, nobody will show you their true self. Everyone of us are just acting.

Like what Shakeapeare said and I quote:

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages

Thus we can't say we're all real when facing strangers because by showing our inner true self, we allow others to take advantage of it and may cause harm to us. Thus we're all actors, living on this Earth. Just that we aren't recognised... =))

hydefied - @ 16:25

Monday, August 14, 2006
It's a Frigging Monday

I recieved a call, according to the clock on my cellphone, at 4.51pm. And my industrial attachment will be at NCS aka National Computer System at Ang Mo Kio. =/ Different from Casilda le, but same as her friend....therefore should be alright.

Fuck. IN Written was a whole load of mess, careless mistakes here and there. BOO! I wanna pass! *prays*


hydefied - @ 21:35

Thursday, August 10, 2006
Friendship is just a form of making use

Our phone conversation ended up like half an hour or so, due to the fact that he made me tell him everything, from my studies, to friendship problem and all the way to Jerome Ku! Isn't it nice to have such lovely people who can just listen to you rant on and on without any sign of frustration, and the possiblity of drifting off while you're talking. I think most of my friends can't do that, which is part of the reason why I can't spill everything out, even if I'm extremely sad, unhappy and frustrated.

Been feeling rather down lately, my smiles and laughter doesn't mean that I'm ok, just that people aren't sensitive enough or close enough to feel it. Sigh~ Oh well, I can't ask so much right? I think many of times, people are just using me to help them get answers and listen to their problems. So saddening to learn that friendship isn't so pure afterall. Everyone is merely making use of each other to benefit themselves. Nothing more and nothing less.
Mr. Yap was so cool today, OOP Written felt like a lecture. We discussed, he dropped some hint here and there, and it was totally awesome. He's a very nice and good lecturer. =) Not that Nazir ain't good, but just that his teaching method doesn't suit me. =( I never felt such relief as I tensed up and panicked easily. Million thanks to Casilda, Cedric, Firdaus, Ian, Li Ting for helping me along the way. *love*
I really don't know what to say about the WSS. Because of this, my attachment has been pushed all the way from year 3 to next semester (if comfirmed). It is sort of a mixed feeling I'm getting, one side I'm happy as I need not face so many people anymore, on the other, I feel really sad that I won't be able to spend my lunch and classes with Fir, Ian etc. Sigh~ Industrial Attachment also instilled a slight fear in me. What if I can't do it? What if I'm assigned to a job that I can't cope? All the insecurities, all the dilemmas and all the troubles. =(
IN Written on Monday, and IN Lab Retest the following day. I hope I can do well for both components. At least a B+ can make me very happy! =) I hope this semester can at least maintain the GPA at 3 or above.

hydefied - @ 23:02

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Random stuff I found on a site~ :D

S E 7 E N Things that draws a curve on my face
1) Jerome Ku
2) His Pictures
3) My oh-so-comfy Bed
4) Videos we took yesterday
5) Jokes
6) Jimmy` =x
7) Pocky~

S E 7 E N Ways to Win my Heart:
1) Jerome Ku's smile
2) An IPOD Video
3) Merci Chocolate
4) Mon Cheri`
5) The Da Vinci Code DVD
6) A trip to Paris
7) I guess if Jerome goes, "Hey Baby"

S E 7 E N Things I Believe In:
1) Love is blind
2) My Religion
3) Effort needs appreciation
4) My Feelings & Love
5) Knowledge is Power
6) The Rich will always be Rich, and the Poor will always be Poor
7) Jerome Ku Tse-Jen

S E 7 E N Things that may make me tear:
1) Failure
2) Indifference from loved ones
3) Banning of mobile phones
4) Sadness
5) Fear of the unknown
6) When Love is lost
7) Death of a loved one

S E 7 E N Things I Do Daily:
1) Sleep
2) Eat
3) Listening to music
4) Talk / MSN
5) Shower
6) Thinking and talking bout Jerome~
7) SMS

S E 7 E N People I Want to See Right Now:
1) Jerome Ku Tse-Jen
2) Ayumi Hamasaki
3) Jimmy
4) Bill Gates
5) Adolf Hitler
6) Kwon Sang Woo
7) Buddha

eS E 7 E N thing you are wearing now:
1) Specs
2) Shirt
3) Underwear =x
4) Necklace
5) Shorts
6) Bracelet
7) nothing else~

IN Lab was FUCKED UP! There wasn't enough time to complete it, and I was lost at some questions. And I failed. FUCKED UP. Thursday gonna be Cisco Final and OOP Final Written Test. Darn! It's so irritating, and I don't know if I'm able to pass this semester. WSS would meant that my Industrial Attachment will be carried forward, and if it's confirmed, it would just mean that attachment will be on 4th Sep!

So many commitment and so little time~ Boo! :'(


hydefied - @ 18:20

Monday, August 07, 2006

Today's lab test left me crying as I made my way out from the room. I couldn't get the fucking board to count down or up! I was helpless, frustrated and irritated, nothing was there. Tension grew as both Cas and Ian, then Benedict left the room. I was like " Darn, I give up!", I just threw the board aside, unplug the fucking wires, went out and CRY! Bahhhh!!!!

I never felt so down before, but I saw Jerome after class at blk 7, he was like "About the lab test, don't worry, yo'd be fine"...Well, I really hope so, I feel so fucked up after everything,I feel damn stupid after all this. Sadded. :'( See, Jerome. I told you I can't make it de, you kept insisting that i'd be fine. EEKS~!
IN labtest tomorrow, I hope to do well and just maintain my A for all my IN *Pray* Not forgeting the IN and OOP theory test on the thursday right after the national day celebration. FUCK~!
O-K people, last but not least,
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY! (in advance) hope y'all enjoy the NDP as much as I did a week before. =)

hydefied - @ 19:39

Sunday, August 06, 2006
It's all about You & Me

* All the answers are in random order

10) Money
09) Cellphone
08) Keys
07) Umbrella
06) EZ-Link
05) Tissue Paper
04) Oil Clear Paper
03) IPOD Shuffle
02) Sanitary Pad =x
01) Water Bottle

9) Jerome Ku Tse Jen
8) Sony Erricsson W500i
7) A holiday
6) "Angels & Demon" novel
5) The Da Vinci Code DVD
4) Panasonic Lumix Digi
3) "Carrie" novel
2) Money
1) Jerome Ku Tse Jen!

8) Rojak
7) Chicken Rice
6) Katong Laksa
5) ToriQ bento
4) Yong Tau Foo
3) Sushi
2) Ramen
1) Chocolate

7) Casilda
6) Benedict
5) Firdaus
4) Yuan Ee
3) Shu Xian
2) Ian
1) Derrick

6) Silence of the Lambs
5) Carrie
4) Spiderman
3) The Incredible
2) The Mummy
1) Scary Movie

5) LapTop
4) DVD player cum Hi-fi
3) Wardrobes
2) Bed
1) CDs

4 THINGS YOU ATE/DRINK TODAY (in random order):
4) Bee Hoon
3) Chinese Tea
2) Mineral Water
1) Brown Rice

3) Money
2) CellPhone
1) Internet

2) Books
1) Anything worth reading


hydefied - @ 02:00