Tuesday, August 30, 2005
long way to go.

complete reading my notes. hope it is really a fruitful one. i pray that i really do well. or well..at least pass. and casilda, hope u do very well for tomorrow's lab test!! giving you moral support. i hope i can get through these two modules by wednesday. yes i am very hopeful!

i hadnt mug hard enough. i wanna buy Ayumi's concert vcds. i hope i can have enough money to get the two vcds. her dome tour 2005 is releasing soon. duh...broke. i think i really need to save and plan my budget.

life has been really smooth for now. i enjoy the presence and companion of my friends. thanks to all my good friend, whoever you are. you have been really great people. i love you all. friends come and go. and friends like you guys chose to leave a footprint and make a differences in my life. you guys RAWK!!

i hadnt been reading. the only thing that i have been reading are blogs and my module books. its really really stupid. i think i gotta do some time management! DAMN!! i need to put my words into action, especially the time management stuff!! goodness... =(




whatever.

its never too late.

there's always next semester!


hydefied - @ 14:24


Friday, August 26, 2005
if human could fly...i wanna be the one...

i've passed my OS practical, now i need to study for my theory now. i have confidence in my IN that i will pass, but then, at times, i cant be over confident. wish me luck.

met up with yixin to continue our discussion, found out she is also interested in history, especially the 2nd world war. finally, i found someone who share the same interest. lol.

shall not blog further, i need to start doing my electrical technology. cheers, i hope your day will be a happy one. cause i sure am having one.

=]








p.s: does my blog look longer? *stares at it for 3 secs* nah, its still damn short despite my method of trying to lengthen it by keep pressing the ENTER button. i am not making sense.





bah


hydefied - @ 03:07


Wednesday, August 24, 2005
if there is life. i am going to find it

mentally i am very fine. but physically..no. i might have tore a muscle during my s & w lessons and it is hurting like hell. hope it recovers soon. i realise how important they are to me now. and hand, i am so sorry i have underestimated your capabilities. please accept my apologies. whahaha..i am mad! =D

tests...tests...tests...

i) OS practical
ii) IN practical
iii) EPS1

one down and 2 more practical test to go. i hope i dun flunk the OS. cuz i dun wanna repeat my module. it sucks repeating it and i dun wanna waste my time in doing so as i dun see a need for that. *fingers-crossed*

if pigs could fly. duck can give birth to their young. crap. i am so crappy now. this doesnt make a single sense. go figure out. if not, you can skip this paragraph cuz i am only writing this to make my entry look longer. does it look longer already? hmmm....lame crap..

and casilda. dun give up. ganbatte. no matter what. i'll be there for you. i will lend u a shoulder to lean or cry on. dun lose faith because of one practical. focus on your goals and work for it. i'll always be there. giving you moral support. smiles sweetie! =D

and last but not least. death isnt everything. its never bout running away. maybe life has too much to offer. cant die so soon. its not my time to go. therefore. ignore my last post. i wasnt thinking right when i wrote that, forgive the naive child. bla bla bla whatever. i dunno if i should rant on but then...whatever.

BAH!


hydefied - @ 11:17


Tuesday, August 23, 2005
sadden by loss in faith

never tried convincing me to try to take it back. which is part of the reason why i had to give up. the painful words said to me which make me lose hope. i never want it. but then, i am forced to make this choice.

hate me for all i care. i just hope that i dun survive this night. i want it to come to an end tonight. but then i am spoiled with choices. should i hang myself? overdose myself with medicine or just leap off the building? i dont know which is best. i am too numb for feelings. i cant believe i am crying at this current moment. i am weak, though i try to stay strong for my girlfriend who needs me badly. but then i failed as a friend.

i guess its a good-bye. and maybe i'll survive tonight, maybe i wont. but i hope i dont. as least it would make others who hate me happy. i am going to be selfish. i choose to take my life away and i choose to be a fucking stubborn unreasonable stupid naive bitch. its my own choice. respect my decision cuz whatever you do kinda mean nothing to me...for now...


hydefied - @ 11:41


Thursday, August 18, 2005
the uncertainties in life

finally, i have completed my CATS project. one burden off my aching and tired shoulders. indeed, i have very co-operative team-mates who takes resonsibilities instead of trying to escape and shrugging them off. thanks guys, for all your hard work. u deserve a pat on the back. bah..i am damn lame today.

terrific mood to start the day off. its firdaus's birthday today. and yes a very happy birthday to him indeed. there's so much things to study, but yet i cant seem to switch to the studying mood and thus, here i am, doing unneccessary stuff. blah blah blah. whatever.

just finished watching downfall. a great movie. well...i have always been interested in hitler, and thus, i DID enjoy this movie tremendously. its not that i adore hitler. i do understand all the destruction he caused and lives he took. but never did we realise that a war will never start if it doesnt have any supporters. everything happen with a reason. it takes 2 hands to clap. we cannot totally blame him for all these destruction. blah blah blah. whatever. i still respect his determination and loyalty.

nah. i need to start working hard. damn damn damn. fuck!! it suck totally. i need to breathe. duh!



__+ compassion is weakness +__




note to self : plan for a time table next semester. dun procastinate.




__+ life is never about second chances +__


hydefied - @ 10:56


Tuesday, August 16, 2005
the little things in life

my mood swing is back again. suddenly i felt like crying. i dont know why. why i am feeling like that. maybe its just little things that is causing it to happen again. i dont know. i am confused. i am stress. i am naive. i am gullible. i am stupid. bleah

time really flies. i hate the exams which will be due in probably less than a month. oh shucks. i hadnt prepare for a single shit. fffuuuccckkk....

oh god. i feel like crying now. but then i am controlling myself so as not to. i must stay strong. i really need to. it sucks. this feeling is like fuck. damn. its damn crappy going through mood swings without anyone with you. i think life is like that. i just gotta take care and depend on myself.

__+ darkness clouds my vision +__

__+ i am blinded by the cruelty of life +__


lastly, quote of the day :

" if the war is lost
then it is of no concern to me
if the people perish in it.
i still would not shed a single tear
for them, because they did not
deserve any better" - ADOLF HITLER


hydefied - @ 12:05


Monday, August 15, 2005
___+ group photo of the day +___


joshua.jerry.cia.qingqing
13th august 2005
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hydefied - @ 13:47



adorable little baby. =]


this is the adorable baby, with the gorgeous daddy, i was talking about. isnt he the cutest?
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hydefied - @ 13:45



Panasonic D-Snap AS30


this is the camera that QingQing has. is that cool or what? damn. i want one too!!
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hydefied - @ 12:00



day of fun, joy, peace and laughter

__+ saturday. 13th august +__

Heritage tour. It started out ok. I went to school to wait for jerry, haohao and qingqing. The actual time that we were supposed to meet at pico was 1100hr but we only reached there at bout 1300hr. I was to look after check-point 35, aka raffles landing site, together with jerry and Joshua who is a 3rd yr student in accountancy [ if I didn’t remember wrongly]

We had a lot of fun there. Jerry was cracking a lot of stupid jokes. We were really crazy and having a fun time. Qingqing has the digicam that I long for. Panasonic d-snap, the one that ayumi endorse for!! Ahh…damn. crap

we spotted alot of goodlooking guys and gals. there was one particular family that i remembered very clearly. i was first attracted to the son, but then the daddy was better looking than the son. and they have this really adorable looking baby. [ will post his pic up after jerry send it to me] i was too engrossed with trying to capture a picture of the baby smiling, that i completely forgot bout taking the dad's pic. after they left, jerry was like " hey, why didnt you take a pic of the father?". i was like " oh shit! i totally forgot all about it!! damn" fffuuuccckkk....how careless of me. but non the less, i still got the pic of that adorable baby. hahahahahha..

i only returned home at bout 2330hr. we left the place at bout 2200hr+++. well..it was real fun. had a great day with those guys. laughing and playing. woo-hoo..so looking forward to helping out again next year. provided i have the time. and next event on my list

1) carnival @ youth park
2) yellow ribbon charity walk

exam will be due in 3 weeks time. its mugging time. i need to study hard and fast. i am lacking behind. been rather distracted in class. not absorbing much from any classes. i need to do well for my 1st year. its a must for me. wish me luck. i think i need it alot.

and bel-bel. haha..miss her alot. we werent in the same check-point. so jerry kept using the walkie talkie to "page" for her. and not forgetting our cell-phones. we kept calling her to enquire lotsa of stuff. thus, jerry, joshua, bel ---you guys rawks!! love you all. making my day at the event yesterday a really GREAT one. peace to all. cheers

__+ sunday 14th aug +__

it is a good day today. i enjoy the time and tranquility of life right now. i am trying my best to stay positive, happy and healthy. i think life in the past is really a very simple yet fufilling life. hmm..shucks. i am trying not to think too much. treasure the moment. seize every opportunity and just stay happy. cheers =]

__+ it doesnt that mean i like you when i smile to you +__


hydefied - @ 10:05


Sunday, August 14, 2005


introducing the adorable. baby LOUIE!!
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hydefied - @ 22:42


Saturday, August 13, 2005
+ silly +

i dunno why. is it because i cant communicate well with people? i dont know. why are you always hiding things from me? why is it that you dont explain me? shucks...i dont know, maybe there is no trust? maybe i am not someone who people can confide in. crap.

i hate it so much. why is everybody and anybody hiding everything from me? i am a stupid stupid, ignorant and naive person. i believe in everything people say. i am led by the nose. i feel like transfering school now. no intention on staying in this school anymore. it sucks alot. hate it. bleah.


hydefied - @ 11:00



finally..its friday..

hadnt been writing a decent entry. too tired these few days. damn. stupid. crap. and tomorrow, i'll be going down to CBD area to help out in the heritage tour thingy, organised in collaboration with our 40th national day. and i wont be free for 3 consecutive saturday. boo!

i just hope i can get a decent and quality rest time soon...my body is rather stiff. and aching alittle. arh..fffffuuuuuccccckkkkk....and i still hadnt done any revision. so.....well...too bad...i really need to plan my schedule now. and yes, i do mean now. gee....sheesh...it sucks.

damn. lessons in progress. i need to start paying attention in lectures. crap crap crap.

___+ the things i do. i do it for you +___

__+ the thing i just said. i was merely lying +__


hydefied - @ 01:25


Friday, August 12, 2005
tired.

i am really tired. been staying out very late and waking up very early. thus, i am very very tired, exhausted. boo!

dont know what to say. nothing much happen in my life. i hadnt been feeling very happy lately. i just try to look happy for now. it must be the time of the month. i get very sensitive on little things. but for now, i still can tolerate. yes. i know i can.

i'll do a detailed entry soon. suffering from writer's block. sincerely apologise *bows*


hydefied - @ 13:00


Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice

had the whole afternoon to rest. will be busy for 3 consecutive saturday. i need to really plan for my schedule as soon as possible. its the holidays tomorrow. so its more tv tv and tv. but then, i need to do my EPS project soon. hopefully tomorrow. if not i may not be able to complete them in time.

damn. its sickening, i feel the pain and discomfort in my body. maybe due to the days of the month, and yes. i hope so. i am so tired. not enough sleep lately. i need to stay living healthy now. i dun want to fall sick. it sucks. bleah.

lastly, HAPPY NATIONAL DAY! =]

___+ if my day is not good. i'll turn around to see it a different way +___


hydefied - @ 12:19


Monday, August 08, 2005
day without pain seem rather impossible

i am aching all over. today was still ok. but the event that i participate today was rather nerve wreaking. i was so nervous, pessimistic that i may actually spill the drinks or trip and fall down. i think it would be very embarrassing.

met up with chris, liting, ian, casilda and randy [ ian's friend ] and once again, we took neoprints. my feets very very pain. i am not used to standing and walking too long. accompany casilda to the arcade. it was loud, the music from the machine nearly made me deaf. saw a really small cute tortoise soft-toy at action city. crap, it was out of stock. irritated.

not going to blog any further. my printer isnt being coopperative. so no neoprints up yet. just be patient.


hydefied - @ 12:12


Sunday, August 07, 2005
indulgence in live ----- money . career . family

well...i had a wonderful sleep last night. i slept well in other words. today was a relatively ok day. spent the day with my family. i just bought cyndi's new album and i think there will be an autograph session soon. i need company to go with me. i wonder if TSP they all are willing to go with me...hmmm... *deep thoughts*

i keep seeing that guy in school. but i dont dare to go up to speak to him. i just let him brush across me. i guess i will only talk to him......in my dreams. and i want that to be a reality. i need more confidence. i must go for classes to clear such awkwardness i may experience. freak. i feel so weird. lol.

the weather is damn hot today. and i do pray it dont rain anytime tomorrow. just hope for a fine weather tomorrow. well...i beg and pray for one good weather. not too hot. and wonderful, i am meeting yuan ee on saturday. and on the 20th. i gotta save up. and i am so looking forward to that day. cause it will be neoprints and more neoprints. bravo. wonderful. marvellous. perfect. i just love it. meeting up with an old friend brings back so much fun memories.

and lastly. i hope yuan ee's mum will get well soon. sending her my regards and wishes for a speedy recovery.

+ te quiero + je vous aime + ich liebe sie + io l'amo + eu o amo + 私はあなたを愛します + 나는 당신을 사랑합니다 + 我爱你 + i love you +


hydefied - @ 11:30


Saturday, August 06, 2005
salt pepper sugar. the spices in life

running a cold now. and hoping i will get well soon as soon as possible. rather tiring day i had. been yawning away. i supposed its lack of sleep for the past few days. i have not yet prepared san's birthday present and i need to get one soon. but i cant decide on what. hmmm...i need to brainstorm on it soon.

IN test was a breeze. just refer to the notes and voila! all the answers are there. have to start mugging soon. the final theory paper is just round the corner and i am so not prepared. i hope to get through year 1 without any need to retain or well...repeat any modules. its totally embarrassing, thinking that i may be studying the same year with my sister. i need a paper bag to wear soon. shameful. tsk tsk.

due to certain unforeseen circumstances and complains by a certain person, i will try not to use the f word. but there is no guarantee, i may curse and swear if i am in a bad, shitty mood. bad case of mood swings are lying low lately. hope it will go away permanently. *fingers-crossed* but then, whatever.

praying for good marks for el tech lab test. need it alot to help bring up the common test percentage. crap. didnt study hard enough. and no point crying over spilt milk so i just gotta put in 100% efforts in all the modules i am pursuing now. well...let's see then. i need to plan my schedules. hah. too much commitments. too little time. boo!!


hydefied - @ 10:13


Friday, August 05, 2005
shitty day not forgetting the bad weather and the damn flu bug!

damn. the weather is like crap lately. it is unpredictable. it seem as though the sky is experiencing mood swings, in other words, sky is pms-ing. it rains as and when it like. making my day and travelling a rotten one. fuck!!

double fuck!! i cant seem to find my tickets. i am going to get slaughtered alive. boo!!

el tech practical was still fine. and i hope to score well for it to pull up my grades in el tech exam. the common test was well...rather disappointing. thus, its back to more studying and doing more practices. damn!!!!! fffffuuuuuccccckkkkk.......

nothing much to update for now. so look out for more soon. its boring here! and life seem to pass slowly when i am bored! crap. damn. i am smart.


hydefied - @ 09:38


Thursday, August 04, 2005
well..its just that i am thinking about stuff

hadnt been blogging cause u really dont know what more to say. but it has been rather tiring nowadays. caught by the flu bug. and so i am feeling rather..well..weak? hmmm

i saw that guy again at canteen 1, but once again i dare not go forward to say anything. so, another chance missed. i gotta be more thick-skin and more daring. or else i'll never get to know him, unless we're in the same class one year? *fingers crossed* and yes, i hope so. staying hopeful.

thus, i dont really bother about what people think or say. mock us for all you want. people are so shallow and dumb. all they know is to mock at people who have been together. they never thought how is it like if its them. too bad. such people need punishment. and i strongly believe in retribution. and you will get it one day. aww..too bad.


hydefied - @ 10:49


Tuesday, August 02, 2005


wahahahaaa...i am grabbing her head with only two fingers. she's sooo small...hahahaha
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hydefied - @ 13:13





she is so small...aww...little people. i feel like someone so almighty...
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hydefied - @ 13:12





wonderfully done by yours truly, ME!!
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hydefied - @ 13:11





__+ candid +__ shi-gong aka ian
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hydefied - @ 13:10





__+ candid +__ shi-fu aka chris
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hydefied - @ 13:09





__+ candid +__ Li Ting
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hydefied - @ 13:09





__+ candid +__ tu-di aka cia- ps.i am studying
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hydefied - @ 13:08





__+ candid +___ shi-bo aka chick-gen
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hydefied - @ 13:07