Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Independent

two months of holiday has officially started. just gonna take a break and get ample rest due to the lack of sleep studying for the exam. after that, wait for my sister's JAE posting results and help her with the matriculation(sp?) stuff. yup! i am finally meeting my cuzzie to hit the gym this sat...just cant wait, it has been quite a while since i last exercise. all i wanna do all day is sleep and do nothing else. and i am getting fat!

hope cas do well for her piano exams, ya! hey gal, have faith and i am sure you can do well!
things are quite alright. after the quarrel we had, i dont see any point of talking as more talking would end up quarrelling. its saddening but i guess its too bad then. whatmore can we do but to let time heal everything. i guess that's it.

someone sent me the nyp sex thingy and i realise the "female lead" of the whole thingy was a good friend of mine in primary school. i was totally loss for words when i recognise her. really saddening. seeing a friend's sex video. and for people who has the video, please dont send it! please! :D

ohh, two months of holiday would mean not being able to meet up with cas, bitch, fir, ian, wz for breakfast and stuff. awww...gonna miss you peeps tremedously. heyy, arrange a time whereby the 5 of us could meet up and chit chat alil. in the mean time, have fun and rest as you guys deserve a good rest for the efforts and hard work put in. we' just hope for the best on 24th march!

love

cheers*


hydefied - @ 14:10



Close to you

tiring day. i think i totally screwed AEL!! DAMN!! i can do some but i dont know if its correct anot. sigh. the price of not being able to understand and not paying attn in class.

after the not so fruitful exam, headed to the library with WZ, Ian, Cas to watch matilda..and nightmare before x'mas...apparently, bitch went home to sleep la. =.=

movies watched so far
+++++++++++
The Witches
The Exorcist
Repulsion
Matilda
Nightmare Before Christmas
Silence of the Lambs
Animal Farm

more to come after the supposed two months break! yippie!!


hydefied - @ 08:02


Friday, February 24, 2006
Voyage

relationship is one of the most fucking irritating thing i have to go through. be it bgr, friendship, kinship. i am fuckingly pissed off by the attitude and blames i get after any fucking stupid asshole thing happen. i feel like no matter what, everyone's a victim except me. i get fucking blame, it aint cool and i am sick on being treated this way.

you complained to every single shit out there and i am the bad person. cuz i caused the person's heart break, i brought you all these fucking faggots agony. if you really hate me so much, then why you wanna be my friend, why you wanna be my boyfriends. frustrating idiots who never fail to piss me off. blame me, fuckers. i will FOREVER be the wrong person. dont act kind to me if you hate me. I HATE YOU ALL AS MUCH AS YOU DISLIKE ME! fuck you...

yea...life is never fair, with people like you asses around. idiots, i hope to see you die while i sit there watching


hydefied - @ 12:49


Thursday, February 23, 2006
neverending dream

i guess not caring about what people say or criticize is kinda difficult. i have been through this and its hard to not care. people can be vicious, and they ignore what if the person ever has feeling.

casilda
-------
i do understand you have been through alot. and at times i feel very bad not being able to share your problems. i do not understand what ou've been through til you tell me about that particular bitch who keep critisizing bout your size and stuff. i have been through this shit. i am always being compared to those freaking skinny cousins. many times, i do feel like slapping these bitches. whats with being fat? does being fat equal to failure? i think these people are very dense, they are shallow and do not understand the understand the significance of inner beauty. i do hope we can be close frens who are able to share our problems and a person i trust and confide to. although at times i may say things that are hurtful or stop you from buying food whatsoever, what i did was nothing but sheer concern a good friend has.

honestly, although you arent the first person i got to know in sch, you are the closest to me compared to the rest in class. you are the most wonderful human being, friend. you care truly for your fren even though they treat you like crap. i never fail to feel the care and concern from you. and i am indeed very grateful to have you as a good friend. cheers. may you stay happy always.

firdaus
-------
you have gone a long way man. i can feel you seem down lately but i blame myself for not being able to share it. among the 3 of us, you are the most diligent one. though at times you meet with failures, please do stay strong. failures is part and parcel of life. you are someone very enthusiatic, fun-loving and very very sweet. you are someone who always express your concerns to the people around you. you are just wonderful, and someone i never regretted having good friends, buddies like you and cas. hopefully, this friendship can brave through any obstacles. :D do stay positive as i am sure you'd do well as hardwork pays off. thanks for all the supports, endless encouragement and care you express for me.

thanks guys for being great friends to me. i appreciate deeply, your endless concerns, love, support has been a great encourage for me to stay positive and strong. love ya both! cheers*

movies watched
+++++++++++
`The Witches
`The Exorcist
`Silence of The Lambs
`Repulsion

and the list goes on...


hydefied - @ 15:45


Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Dolls

Exams has started, which means i will not blog that often, but still i'd try my best to. IN2 on mon was alright. passed..OOP today, i could do the questions. the only problem is whether or not the answers are correct. dawg!

i guess people do change. he claims i have changed, he changed to...just that he doesnt realise it. maybe people do not reflect upon themselves, they only point out other's mistakes and stuff. i know i have change. when you said that you were always the same...i guess you lied. and that's one of the reasons i am not able to return back to what we used to be...both of us have change, so stop saying i changed, cuz you yourself changed too!

i guess the anger inside of me has somewhat subsided. maybe because i have get to know more about my friends around me. watched " the witches" and " the exorcist" (with ben) on mon. after watching the exorcist, it felt like i have just went on a thrilling ride, my heart was pumping so hard. i guess i didnt expect of it to be so vulgar and freaky...

as for today cas, liting and i watched "silence of the lambs". it was disturbing...indeed it was, and rather "brain-consuming" in a way i felt so tired or rather exhausted after the movie. i never had such experience before. nonetheless, movie viewing with cas, ben, liting, ian was fun! we should do that more often.

list of movie to watch in sch
----------------------------
` Edward Sissorshand
` Dracula
` American Pie : Band Camp

i guess thats all, unless i find another interesting one to view.

cheers*


hydefied - @ 15:11


Monday, February 13, 2006
July 1st

Writing this while listening to : L.O.V.E - Ashlee Simpson

valentine's day is like just 1 day away, gotta buy chocolate for my kors, casilda and hopefully give one to jimmy too. yearp. always looking forward to that day, recieving and giving choco to my good friends. went to pizza hut on thurs with ben, cas, liting, james and firdaus, well..the rest didnt wanna go..so too bad, 6 was a perfect number, we could get a family meal for 4, and a couple's meal for 2....wonderful!

it was fun, we talked and complained alot, but idiotic, it started raining and so cas took a cab back with liting, while me, ben, james and fir walked back when it stopped raining. yup...we should do that more often, it'd be very fun and i do mean that.

feeling so much better after whatever that had happened on wednesday, i guess sooner or later, i'd really blow up and scream at that person. i am just not someone you can scream at when things dont go your way or when i cant give you what you want. i do have my own commitments and i am not so free like you. i have ccas to attend, family and friends to accompany, and since i am not smart, i do have to study.

cheers


hydefied - @ 17:04


Friday, February 10, 2006
everywhere nowhere

Loving you -----Minnie Riperton

Loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful,
and love with you is all I wanna do.

Loving you is more then just a dream come true,
and everything that I do,
is out of loving you.
la la la la la,
la la la la la....

No-one else can make me feel the colors that you bring .
Stay with me while we grow old
and we will live each day in springtime.

'Cause loving you has made my life so beautiful,
and everyday of my life is filled with loving you.
Loving you,I see your soul come shining through,
and everytime that we,
oohh.. I'm more in love with you.
la la la la, la la la la la...
do do do do
a ~~~~~````

No-one else can make me feel the colors that you bring,
Stay with me while we grow old
and we will live each day in springtime.

'Cause loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful,
and every day of my life is filled with loving you.
Loving you,I see your soul come shining through,
and everytime that we,
oohh.. I'm more in love with you.
la la la la la,
la la la la la...
do ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a ~~~~~~~~~~~~`````

loving you


hydefied - @ 15:20


Thursday, February 09, 2006
taskinillusion

seriously, i am starting to hate every single person around me. its like hello, i didnt mean to not answer all u people's call, just that you call when i am either not in e room, the phone is not with me, or i am busy...or i am too pissed off to answer. and i get scolded for, blame for everything. fucking people. i really should get my number change and get disconnected with the world when i am at home, doing what i enjoy doing.

i have been getting more and more frustrated and pissed of easily, but i try to stay in control so as to not jeopardise the friendships.....but people just go on and on...i get blame because i cant attend to help out at school events, i get blame when i didnt answer the calls, i get blame for deserting my friend, i get blame whatever you dun like. FUCK YOU ALL. no wonder i am getting fucking irritated with everybody...

projects pissed me off...and i have more people to add on...and hello...doesnt mean i smile and laugh with you means that i like you. arses....dawg! everyone just wants me to understand them, but do they understand me? NO!! they only ASSUME to have understood me. i have to put up with their shitty moods. and when i get moody, i might be labelled as a girl with attitude problem.

idiots, suckers, fuckers. no wonder i am starting to hate everyone around me. i feel like shit, and i dun think people are willing to find out why cuz they assume i am fine, as i am always laughing and bla bla bla. and like i would like to emphasize that doesnt mean i joke and have fun with you, means i really like you.

*edit





FUCK!


hydefied - @ 11:10


Wednesday, February 08, 2006
HANABI

there are times i feel like a retard...i feel worthless and stupid. but there are times i feel like a genius...but then, that rarely happens. boo! passed the freaking oop lab test, thank goodness, and i feel quite relieve. hope firdaus can do well! ganbatte kor kor!!

anyway, i been feeling very good lately, talking to my brother online has make me feel so much better with all the lame stuff he "preach" to me. kekeke....well....i still got eps test on thurs. dawg~

exam schedules
21st Feb - OOP written Final
24th Feb - EG2 9am to 11am
27th Feb - AEL 9am to 11am

pray for me to do well, k? i have been feeling rather stupid lately...hurhurhur...


hydefied - @ 12:14


Saturday, February 04, 2006
Over

i am someone who can love a person easily, but yet i am someone who is afraid to fall in love. it seems weird, but everytime i fall for someone, i am afraid of it. fear would set in on me....and i would regret my very own decision. after so many encounters, i just realise that i have to set my goals and standards higher and not allow anyone to take advantage of me in any way. i do long to have a boyfriend, but yet i am afraid to have one. i do agree that the old me is good. in a way, its good and bad, good in a way that i dont have so much troubles to handle and i am a much happier person, but bad in a way is the people i got to know. everything has two sides, but i have learn to stay positive and always look on the bright side.

love isnt so important to me, it is not a priority, neither is it a need to have one. i am contented to have good friends around me. though once a while i may developed feelings for them, but i dont think i am ready to commit myself into a relationship. i am not open with my feelings, problems and troubles....so i just need a person to understand....but then, i have found that particular person to aid me in my healing and problem sharing.

so many things, and just too little time.
> monday - IAC Spies'R US presentation, ComT 20mins group presentation
> tuesday - EG2 quiz, OOP lab test, IN closebook online quiz
> thursday - EPS Eagles Unit 1-6 test

balls, i just pray i can cope and at least pass all these, i cant afford to retain, but yet i am not studying. i am not in the mood of studying. i feel so stupid lately, and confused. but life still goes on, i have to stay strong.

cheers*

things arent what you think it is. appearance can be decieving.


hydefied - @ 15:15


Friday, February 03, 2006
Heartplace

all is well now. i have never been so relieved. million thanks to cas, hao and my dearest cousin for all the support they've given me. i am glad nothing bad has happened! thank goodness.

chinese new year was alright. but its all the same, usual routine, usual place that i'd go. nothing much to update, just that it was nice...rather enjoyable. the clash of my baby niece and nephew. they were both cuties. yeah- ^_^

school just started after the short break. >_< so many tests, projects. its like i am stress because of my laziness.....so stupid right?!


hydefied - @ 13:21