Tuesday, August 23, 2005
sadden by loss in faith
never tried convincing me to try to take it back. which is part of the reason why i had to give up. the painful words said to me which make me lose hope. i never want it. but then, i am forced to make this choice.
hate me for all i care. i just hope that i dun survive this night. i want it to come to an end tonight. but then i am spoiled with choices. should i hang myself? overdose myself with medicine or just leap off the building? i dont know which is best. i am too numb for feelings. i cant believe i am crying at this current moment. i am weak, though i try to stay strong for my girlfriend who needs me badly. but then i failed as a friend.
i guess its a good-bye. and maybe i'll survive tonight, maybe i wont. but i hope i dont. as least it would make others who hate me happy. i am going to be selfish. i choose to take my life away and i choose to be a fucking stubborn unreasonable stupid naive bitch. its my own choice. respect my decision cuz whatever you do kinda mean nothing to me...for now...
Hydefied @ 11:41