Monday, September 02, 2013
When you fear it's not a mutual feeling
I don't even know how it started. Maybe it's your quirky humor, or maybe just your mannerism? Or it could even be because we had time to hang out.
I keep telling myself it's not a crush, I won't like you. After Adam, I think it's hard to see love to be a nice feeling. He took me on a roller coaster ride and I thought it was love but what happen to us?
And then they started to say they wanna pair up people and it felt awkward. And the topic of my sis came up and I was like yeah, why not?
It prolly started with having a 好感 and I thought maybe its just a passing feeling and it would not go beyond that. And I started gushing alot to my 4 groups of friends and at one point I'm like, omg do I like him?
Then comes the Saturday event. Why must you be so nice, why do you keep taking my shopping bag. On one hand I wanna know if he is just being nice but on the other, i dont wanna know because I don't wanna be crushed. And twice wanting to help me to get my figure signed because I was upset that they management screwed up.
And my sat night was gushing to my friends of why he is so nice and it's not healthy for my heart.
I want things to progress but I'm afraid of rejection. Then I want it to be status quo so it would reduce all the awkwardness!
Whatsapp to bestie and cousin. Felt tears in my eyes while messaging them and feel damn emo. It's mixed feeling.
This is not otome. Guys don't fall in love with your awkwardness. They don't find you being clumsy or weird cute.
And I'm prolly thinking too much and it's a one sided feeling. Why would he like me? I don't think I'm that nice to like or pretty to like too. Sigh.
Here I am wishing things to go well but on the other hand telling myself that the feelings probably ain't mutual
I wanna cry so badly now! :(
Hydefied @ 19:08