Monday, September 30, 2013
Being a follower
Sometimes I feel I tend to get influenced easily.
I need to be my own leader and not just a follower. I need to not be influenced by people. Like if people wanna lose weight, be whatever. Let them be.
Need to be happy with who I am. Like I'm so envious of queen latifah, rebel wilson. So comfortable in their skin, so confident and girl power.
I think I'm like over the infatuation. I wanna be alone, I kinda try to break myself from the group, be myself, find myself and be happier.
I enjoy my freedom, not tied down by the responsiblity of a wife, a mother. I appreciate being able to go out anywhere, be with anyone and do whatever I want. I may get judged but at least I don't need to account my actions to anyone.
I will probably reopened my Facebook one day, or just saved all the photo and delete the entire account. After all, Facebook is just a false life most people are showing off, venting frustration and plain comparison.
This morning someone asked me, if the person I liked asked me to go out together (as in dating), I'd prolly say no, we need to be friends first. I don't mind being single. Sometimes it's better than getting married to someone who controls you and cuts you off from your social life.
Sad but true. I hope maybe in years to come, I would be an emotionally stronger person. Independent woman part 2 perhaps? Or #foreveralone? Haha!
Chin up and not let a man get me down. I overthink a lot of things and my expectation of love is like 101 storey in a building. Unrealistic but fantasy is what keeps people going sometimes.
Something's are easier said than done, but at least live for the moment and not harp onto things to make me look like a despo.
Thank goodness for bestie, susu and Eugene sometimes. Forever my safety pillar and blanket I can hide to cover my awkwardness. :) at least I wouldn't feel so defenseless with them around.
I think late night blogging is a good thing.
At least I can rant out my feelings, and it's a calming sensation. I need to sleep soon and it's 1.20am.
I will be more hardworking in blogging.
Be strong me!
Hydefied @ 01:21