Monday, July 31, 2006
Would You Be There For Me?
"Walking around without a clue
Wondering why I'm feeling so blue.
If life was always as sweet as honey
I guess we won't be always worrying about money,
Sometimes I don't know why cry
I could feel my tears starting to dry.
I really wish you could make me smile
Does it really hurt just to go that extra mile?
I don't know why I'm feeling so gloom
Oh, would you mind, give me some room."
I really don't know how to describe my emotions now. I feel like crying, I feel like screaming, I feel helpless, I feel lonely, I feel weak, I feel nothing. I'm overwhelmed with everything. CCT is tomorrow and all I could think of is Jerome. I know it's wrong, teachers can never date their students and vice versa. It's still the so near yet so far analogy.
Alot of things has been happening at home and I feel so lost. I'm directionless now. Feelings of dreadfulness is building inside of me. Even going to school isn't so fun and exciting anymore. And like what i said in my previous entry --- Jerome can't even motivate me to attend school anymore. It's kinda saddening. I'm afraid to face my classmates, I don't wanna lose my temper at them. I try my best to control my feelings, laugh and act as though nothing has happened. I'm starting to lose this ability, I'm terrified of myself, I realise I don't even understand myself.
I'm sinking into the world of destruction and writing this just make me feel like crying. I wanna cry it all out. Where is the shoulder for me to cry on? Where is the best friend that I could confide to? And where is the man who can give me emotional support and be there for me?
This feeling is slowly torturing me. I guess sometimes I just get too emotional. Please excuse me as I dry my tears. No Jerome! :'(
Wondering why I'm feeling so blue.
If life was always as sweet as honey
I guess we won't be always worrying about money,
Sometimes I don't know why cry
I could feel my tears starting to dry.
I really wish you could make me smile
Does it really hurt just to go that extra mile?
I don't know why I'm feeling so gloom
Oh, would you mind, give me some room."
I really don't know how to describe my emotions now. I feel like crying, I feel like screaming, I feel helpless, I feel lonely, I feel weak, I feel nothing. I'm overwhelmed with everything. CCT is tomorrow and all I could think of is Jerome. I know it's wrong, teachers can never date their students and vice versa. It's still the so near yet so far analogy.
Alot of things has been happening at home and I feel so lost. I'm directionless now. Feelings of dreadfulness is building inside of me. Even going to school isn't so fun and exciting anymore. And like what i said in my previous entry --- Jerome can't even motivate me to attend school anymore. It's kinda saddening. I'm afraid to face my classmates, I don't wanna lose my temper at them. I try my best to control my feelings, laugh and act as though nothing has happened. I'm starting to lose this ability, I'm terrified of myself, I realise I don't even understand myself.
I'm sinking into the world of destruction and writing this just make me feel like crying. I wanna cry it all out. Where is the shoulder for me to cry on? Where is the best friend that I could confide to? And where is the man who can give me emotional support and be there for me?
This feeling is slowly torturing me. I guess sometimes I just get too emotional. Please excuse me as I dry my tears. No Jerome! :'(
Hydefied @ 21:13